


Monster

by karlaakamsloki (MsLoki)



Series: Tasertricks Tumblr Prompts [10]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Jotun Loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-22
Updated: 2016-07-22
Packaged: 2018-07-26 00:20:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7552843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MsLoki/pseuds/karlaakamsloki
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sweetsigyn prompted: Monster by imagine dragons</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monster

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SweetSigyn (ferbette)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ferbette/gifts).



> All mistakes are mine. 
> 
> I posted this on tumblr months ago and never published it here pt.3

Loki knew the implications of fighting an unknown opponent, which is why he liked to work in the shadows, gathering information on their weaknesses. However he'd been forced to battle an unknown enemy on the command of the soldier out of time, as much he loathe to obey the man Loki knew he had come to an agreement with them and thanks to Thor he would have to honor it.

So he and the Avengers fought an enemy that neither he or Thor could name, the being was obviously not of the nine realms and the implications of it were staggering. The Captain made good work of guiding them to fight the creature that looked more like a glass sculpture than it did a living being but Loki knew it wouldn't be enough.

As if to prove him right, the creature singled him and stuck one of its talons deep in his arm, the purple tint of the creature's outer shell immediately changed to a vivid green and it only took him a second to realized his magic was being stolen.

It felt like an eternity while the creature sucked his magic from within him, Loki stared in horror as the pink skin he had worn his entire life was slowly eaten away by the deep blue of his birth form. When the creature was done with him, he threw him against the harsh concrete floor and Loki could only crawl weakly away from the creature as he tried and failed to sense anything within himself.

Before the creature could finally disposed of him, Thor intervened throwing Mjolnir at the creature and making a small crack on its outer shell. It wouldn't be enough and as the creature reared back in anger it threw a bolt of its stolen magic, it landed firmly on Thor's chest and Loki could only watch his brother fall into the same harsh concrete.

Loki only had a small chance to wonder if his brother was going to die before the Hulk came crashing down on the creature, making the small crack that Thor had made bigger.

"Loki?" The voice of the spider reached him from behind but he did not turn and instead tried to open his mouth to tell her to check on Thor. However the sounds coming from his mouth were not words but harsh sounds not even he could understand.

It seemed that the creature had even stolen the All speak from him.

The Hulk was still fighting the creature when Loki felt the presence of someone leaning over him.

"Loki, brother." Thor sounded hurt, not physically but emotionally and Loki wondered if seeing this form made Thor regret offering his brotherhood once more.

Loki ignored him and instead he looked at the fight trying to find a way to destroy the creature, the Hulk's fists had only made the crack bigger but not big enough for the creature to fall apart and Loki realized they needed to destroy it from the inside out.

He motioned to Thor to get his hammer and Thor did so obediently, then he pointed at the crack in the creature before pointing at the sky. Their relationship was over a thousand years old and it did not take Thor long to see what he was trying to say.

After Thor had brought his lighting inside the creature, they could only stand and watch as it burned from the inside out. His magic aiding this process thanks to its host unfamiliarity on how to use it.

The creature didn't explode, it only became a burned form of itself. One that Loki gladly stepped on so he could see it turn to dust.

His magic was gone for now, he would need time to nurture the small seed left in him back to fruition but he would bring it back and the first thing he would was get rid of the monstrous skin that he now wore.

"Loki, we have to get back home." Thor draped something soft on his shoulders and Loki immediately brought it up to cover his face. His armor thankfully hid most of his body, the only evidence of his shame was on his face and hands.

Thor guided him back to the quinjet, Loki took a seat at the back of the craft and away from the rest of the Avengers. They had already seen his shame but it did not mean he would allow them to see it again.

The silence inside the craft was tense but he only wrapped the cloth around his face tighter and tried to hide his hands with it, he could feel Thor's presence next to him but it did nothing to soothe his growing fear that perhaps he would not be able to revert back to his normal skin.

"Do you wants us to call Darcy?" The Captain helpful suggestion was anything but and Loki could only make those gruntal noises at the back of his throat in denial.

_No! Please!_

He would not allow her to see him like this, not like the monster that he badly wanted to destroy.

"Or maybe not. Do you want us to keep her away? Make sure she doesn't see you?" Oh how he hated how perceptive the spider could be, but just this once he would be grateful for it. He nodded, one of the only few forms of communication he had left and waited to return to the tower he was forced to dwell in.

He could not remember being guided back towards the rooms given to him, he could only remember an uncomfortable warmth growing on his newly acquired skin. It was almost unbearable by the time he made it behind closed doors and he was finally able to shed the cloth covering his face, his armor followed it and he stood naked in the center of the small living room in his quarters.

The heat would not subside and he was forced to lower the temperature until he felt comfortable enough, he dared not go into any other room for fear of looking himself in the mirrors placed there. The living room held no reflecting surfaces, nothing he would break in horror of his own reflection.

The only places to sit had cushions that felt warm so he was forced to sit on the marvel floor which cooled down enough that he was comfortable, he sat there leaning against the wall and tried to focus on nurturing the seed that was left of his magic.

He almost missed the hesitant knock on his door.

"Loki?" Darcy's voice called from the other side and he wanted to scream for her to leave but the only thing that escaped his mouth was a whimper.

He didn't have the energy to get up so he watched with resignation as Darcy opened the door to his quarters, she looked around for him in the darkness of the room and he tried to make himself smaller by curling up into himself.

She turned on a lamp, its soft yellow light casting shadows in his hiding place though it wasn't enough to show enough of him.

"Loki? Jesus is freezing in here." He could see her wrapping her arms around herself, her breath coming out in streams of clear smoke.

He saw her pick up his coat for warmth and then her eyes finally connected with his own, now the color of the blood from countless people he had killed.

The very reason why he was there, the only person to show him compassion could now plainly see the monster he was inside.

" _One day you shall ask me to show you my true skin and I will refuse."_

" _Why wouldn't you show it to me?"_

" _Because once you see it, you will not stay. You will leave."_

"Loki." There were tears welling up insider her eyes and he wondered if his appearance was so ugly that she could only cry when she saw it.

_I don't want you to see me like this._ He did not speak the words aloud, no matter how much he would have liked to.

"I know you don't..." She fell to her knees then, one shaky hand reaching for him.

He made a disgruntled noise, the only way he could communicate that his touch would burn her.

"Please." Her hand kept reaching for him, he wanted to melt into the wall, wanted desperately for her not see the monster he had become.

When her fingertips touched his leg the warmth from it was like the warmth from the fireplace in his rooms in Asgard, the warmth he always used seek after the chill from winter became too much for him. He almost decided to reach for the rest of her, only her apprehensive eyes stopped him from doing so.

"I know you don't like this, that you don't think that you're worth it when you look like this." Her fingertips kept tracing his leg, moving up and down his calf soothing some of the hurt away, "I love you Loki. I love you when you look like me and I love you when you look like this. You're not a monster, you're Loki."

_But is Loki not a monster?_ He wanted to ask, but shame of confirmation made him looked down at her hand on his monstrous skin instead.

"I won't leave because you're blue, I won't leave if you turn bright pink either." Her laugh was broken but it was genuine and Loki finally let instinct win, he touched her hand with his and he reveled in the feeling of it.

Darcy fell into him then, hugging his waist and crying uncontrollably in it. He patted her head, silently asking her why she was crying.

"Because you won't let this happen again, me accepting you won't change how you feel, it won't change all those years that your dad taught you to hate who you are and where you come from. I bet you haven't even look at yourself yet." He squeezed her shoulder to let her know that he would not fight everything she had said. He could not, because no matter how much he wanted to not cared for the reality of his birth, he could not.

_This is all of me_ , he wanted to tell her, _all of what is left of the lie Odin wanted to tell. Were I stand in Asgard, in the land I once called home, in this skin they would not hesitate to strike me down. Would not care to get rid of one more savage, it would only help, would it not? To clean the realms of the Jotun scum I was taught I am. I would have been one of them, as a Prince of Asgard I would have the honor to kill the monster first._

As if reading his thoughts Darcy squeezed him harder, clearly unwilling to let his thoughts get the better of him.

They lay there, Darcy asleep in his blue arms, in the cold of the room for a long time before Loki felt a small spark come alive inside of him. He wanted to gasp in surprised but instead he let out a long breath before shaking Darcy awake.

"You won't leave? You will stay?" His voice was like ice, cold and unrepentant.

"I won't leave. I'll stay." She promised, taking his face in her hands and giving his forehead a kiss.

"I believe you." He could not remember the last time he believed something, he still did not believe in his newly reformed bond with Thor, did not believe in the tentative truce he had with the midgardians but he believed in Darcy. He believed in the bonds they were forming together, bonds that had carried him through his mother's death.

"I love you." Darcy proclaimed one last time before she bent down to put her lips on his closed eyelids.

"And I you." He hugged her again, this time content in the thought she would stay, even if his face was that of a monster.


End file.
